fracas

It’s been a rather busy while for fracas and the fraccy family this past while. There was the end of the school year for the wee fraccy one, the graduating of the middle fraccy one (along with a milestone birthday to boot…), the ongoing rat-race for the older fraccy one (No, I didn’t mean Mr. Fracas, I meant the oldest fraccy child who is not really a child any longer…) and of course, the little hamster wheel of life Mr. Fracas and I seem to be on.

It was while I was trying to catch up the yardwork the other day, that I realized something rather important, and I knew I would have to come blog it for you.

While admiring and appreciating the wonders of the fraccy yard full of trees, flowering (and some fruit-bearing) shrubs, perennials and grasses weaving through the sitting and fire-burning areas we’ve created over the years, my thoughts jumped back to the day that dastardly google car sped through our neighbourhood.

Indeed. It sped so fast I didn’t get a chance to hurl last year’s leftover (and rotten) tomatoes at it. Instead, I was, as I told you all earlier, standing (while talking on the phone) in front of the picture window with the blinds fully raised, without a stitch of makeup, sporting bedhead hair, wearing the most awful old sweats with a baggy t-shirt… under which I was wearing…

…no bra!

The google car driver chose that particular moment to photograph my street… and thus, my home with me in the window. 

I’m sure he knew I was standing right there in such a compromising position.

I’m sure he did it on purpose!

Oh sure, they say they blur out faces and identifying features, but I have since, stalked casually looked up several people and discovered that in fact, many folks out there have been caught with their proverbial pants down by that fraccing car.

This would be enough to send most women shopping for weaponry, but for me, it isn’t the no makeup or bedhead hair that upsets me. No indeed. I took my driver’s license photo that way, so why would that bother me? For me… the queen of the fraccy yard… it was because google had the audacity to photograph Saskatchewan in the spring.

The BROWN spring.

The time when all the Fracskatchewan yards are still littered with the detritus that tends to line our yards following the completion of the melting of the snow… which sometimes doesn’t happen here until, oh, say… August.  

So while I was admiring how lovely the yard was coming along following one of the harshest winters we’ve had in a while, I decided I would have to go to Google Maps and see whether or not those awful and dreary brown photos of the fraccy home were online.

They were not.

Nay. When one googles for the fraccy neighbourhood, one learns that there is no street view available.

Hallelujah! There was much rejoicing in the fraccy basement. I might even go so far as to say I danced on a table or two. I might also go so far as to say there was some unladylike-type behaviour.

I’d wondered if the power of my earlier post might’ve put the fear of fracas into those fops over at the google HQ, but this sealed it for me. Knowing that fear of the fraccy wrath had prevented Google from publishing all those photos of our very brown and nasty Saskatchewan spring yards is definitely proof that Google is afraid of fracas.

And rightly so.

Hollywood is already interested in my story.  I’m planning on beginning work on the screenplay for this shortly… just as soon as the cutting back of the ‘perennials’  is done.

Perhaps you’d like to offer a suggestion on the title? So far all I’ve come up with is…

Googlefather.