fracas

Dear Mexico;

Oh hi. It’s me, fracas… again.

I know, it’s been a long time since I wrote last, a little more than a year to be more specific. I was a little annoyed at you that time. Heck, you could hardly blame me and all… after all, you were watering all those strawberries and carrots with, um… the spoils of the human bowel.  Knowing how we love those strawberries and carrots here in Canada, it made me mad because I had to make sure when I was shopping, that I didn’t buy anything that said, “Product of Mexico.”

What with all the nonsense from China poisoning everything and us having to read every label to make sure we’re not buying anything made in China, adding your little nuisance problem to the mix was pretty upsetting. I mean, really. No one actually wants to eat shit… not even those 2 girls 1 cup bimbos. It’s been proven that was a fake. They weren’t even eating shit… just fooling a whole lot of teenagers! 

So I’m writing this time with mixed emotions, Mexico, but at least it’s not all bad… right?

You see, I’ve just read that you’re giving free Viagra to elderly men with erectile dysfunction, and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

Beginning December 1, Mexico City plans to hand out free medicine to elderly men with erectile dysfunction, the local government said.

“Everyone has the right to be happy,” said Marcelo Ebrard Casaubon, governor of the federal district that encompasses the Mexican capital.

“We have to protect people — senior citizens above all,” he said in a statement Thursday. “Many of them are abandoned and lack money. They don’t have medical services, and a society that doesn’t care for its senior citizens has no dignity.”

My first instinct was to think there must be more pressing health care issues for you to focus on, like illnesses resulting from the high pesticide use in certain parts of your country… or even HIV, but then I decided to look into it a bit further. I’m not sure Mexico, but I think I wasn’t being objective because I was still mad about the poo in my fruits and veggies.

Still… that’s not right. Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t they? 

In her report titled Sex in the Elderly, Patricia Bloom, MD, of the Mount Sinai-New York University Medical Center made a very good case for my giving you the benefit of the doubt here Mexico. She said:

But I believe that sexual activity, in its many forms, can be physically, intellectually, and even spiritually fulfilling. It is often a good form of exercise, and it can stimulate the brain and promote good mental function.

So I had to admit to myself, that it was time to do away with those old grudges Mexico, and give you a round of applause for making the lives of a whole lot of elderly folks just a wee bit happier in time for Christmas this year.

And who knows? Since it stimulates the brain and promotes good mental function and all, perhaps one of those elderly folks who’ve found a new lease on life will actually come up with a way you can take care of your crops without watering them with your sewage.

That, my dear Mexico… would make the rest of us happy too! Who could’ve thought, that the solution to how to irrigate your export crops would rest in whether or not Grandpa gets a boner?

As I live, so I learn!

Until next time then, I remain…

Your friend,

Fracas