fracas

As I do each Saturday morning, I was enjoying my cup of dark roast Arabica bean coffee (brewed strong enough to grow Joey Lawrence’s hair back*) and reading the latest over at TransWorldNews, when this bit of news caused a hand-shaking, heart palpitating minor anxiety attack.

Wait. That was probably the coffee.

No matter, this news…

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are about to have six children, but say they aren’t stopping there. The actress is pregnant with their fifth and sixth child but is already talking about adopting again. She and Pitt already have a biological daughter, an adopted daughter and two adopted sons.

“We keep thinking, ‘Is there ever going to be a time when we don’t have kids in the house?

…this news upset me so much, I did what, as the author of the Sunday Lolcat Scripshers, everyone would expect me to do.

I turned to Ceiling Cat and asked Ceiling Cat to save my children from Angelina Jolie.

You see, I have children… three. Sometimes, even though I love them dearly, I actually make jokes about them. I couldn’t help but fear the thought that, while recovering from the birth of her twins… Angelina Jolie might be reading blogs on the interweave and come across mine. She might think I’m a bad mom, that I don’t really want my children… and then she’d have to adopt them away from me.

Yes, I know, the fraccy children are older, but it all makes sense. She already has several young ones, and what new mom doesn’t wish she had some older children to help with the diapering and the extra laundry and all?

It’s not like Brad would be doing that. He might break a nail.

So I, in fear (because I really do love those little original fraccers) knelt down and humbled myself to Ceiling Cat and I learned something really important.

If one becomes still, and really listens… Ceiling Cat will speak to you.

Ceiling Cat spoke to me, and told me to create the lolebrity caption you see here, and upload it to the icanhascheezburger site. Ceiling Cat told me that if I also shared this lolebrity caption with all of you, and raincoaster… that my children would be safe from the claws of the Brangelina.

I, and all the other bloggers over at Humor-Blogs do hope it’s true.

You can help keep my children safe from the Brangelina too. Choose one (or more) of the following ways.

1. Click here and help my blog get to #2 at Humor-Blogs

2. Click here and vote my Brangelina caption a five hamburger rating over at icanhascheezburger

3. Go visit raincoaster’s newest site, lolebrity.net, because finding her new site in a link in the WordPress forums inspired this post and she should get the blame credit for that, so stop by and say hi to her there.

4. Choose one of the following icons to click and go share this post.

* Disclaimer: Fracas doesn’t have a problem with bald on guys… obviously. Fracas has a problem with guys who fake reasons for being bald. Hey… just be ok with it because lots of women are actually ok with it.