fracas

great thoughts, thanks for not just blasting either side and presenting a thoughtful evaluation. Also, thanks for bringing this to light, i hadn’t even heard of this. appreciate your input.

I agree with the other comment as to the presentation of this issue.

I have an Autistic son who is high functioning (not severe), he is VERY small for his age. He too was banned from our church (Bethany Baptist of West Covina) when he was only around 2. As to our incident, he only “crime” was biting and even then (as I often sat in and watched) he was often provoked by others especially one child who happened to be a VIP’s son at the church.
For our family this was the straw that broke the back of my wife who already had a mental breakdown due to his severe illness as a child and constant hospitalization. Our first two children were difficult for many reasons which made his difficulties unbearable for her. This lead to her having an affair that financially ruined our family and worse ended in still not totally disclosed harm to my oldest daughter as to a molestation that took place as per her diary.

The sad part for us as a family we had to move, leave my business behind and live in a RV. We have still yet to recover financially and live in a run down home now with little income to get the best help for him.
Along with being turned down by government agencies for Food Stamps (because I am self employed, which I need to be to spend the time I need to with my kids), I have little faith in mankind anymore and the fact that the church has never felt any guilt for this or apologized leaves me rather dry inside.

My Thoughts

Despite the fact that he’s God’s child, the Diocese finds that he’s not human enough to be welcome in God’s church.

Sounds like life begins at conception… unless the child has autism.

Quite the predicament; if you rationally approach the situation, you can easily argue either side. As to which side is “right,” I really can’t say. I’m tempted to state that the church has an obligation to bring (insert deity of choice) into the lives of its followers. However, a church staff also must be aware of and attentive to its followers’ safety.

Perhaps an appropriate compromise would be for a priest to visit this child and his family at their home, just as priests visit and serve sacraments to the sick and invalid. Denying Mass altogether seems counterintuitive to the underlying goal of any church of any religion: to spread said religion.

And, to be painfully trite and a whore to commercialism, What Would Jesus Do?

Just my two cents…

-The Rev.

Carol Race is one of the most obstinate ladies I have ever known. She pushes, and pushes. She has high standards in regards to schools (switching her kids around) and now the church. Severe actions had to be taken by the church. How else do you handle an abrasive, look at me, drama seeking person like Carol. Carol and John could go to different and separate masses. Then one parent could be at home with Adam. The church parishioners could worship in peace.

There’s only so much that can be accomodated publicly, regardless of disability. Eucharist offsite is definately an option. Creating a service geared for behaviorally disabled residents is another.

Hi Fracas,
My next to the oldest step son is mentally retarted. And also had severe ADD. We tried very hard to take him to as many places as possible. But, some were just not possible.

It was not only difficult for others around him in certain circumstances. But, it also added a great deal of stress on him.

Now he grew to be very tall, big, and strong. And, in fact could possibly kill someone with just a single blow if he happened to hit in just the right place.

He still likes to do things such as throw rocks. He is in his 30’s now but still has the abilities of around age 7 to 8.

There are simply just times that parents with special needs children have to concede on some issues.

This has been our experience as a family. There are sometimes Mark can go anywhere and be just fine. But, there have been numerous times when we have chosen to remove him from certain places for the comfort and safety of himself and others.

Great post…very informative!!

Elias Da Silva - Thanks for noticing that I was trying to provoke thought rather than blast anyone. Everyone in this case has some thinking to do.

cstrohmeyer - I’m so sorry your family is struggling. I do hope you are able to find a Church that makes you feel welcome. I can’t imagine a Church that would ban a two year old. In the Race’s case, it seems as though (that particular) Church’s issue is not the behaviour as much as the fact he’s grown and isn’t able to be controlled due to his size and weight. I doubt a two year old could provoke fear in others so long as accomodations were made. It does seem that the biggest issue for you is the inability of your wife to cope (with the issues that existed before the incident at church) and the resulting trauma to your family, so I encourage you to seek a Church that could provide you with the support you should/could have. Having a child (or children) with difficulties is a hard road to be on. I know it. Pay attention to the people you will meet while blogging. I promise you there are good people out there who will restore your faith in mankind. I’ve met many!

Scott Jordan - If I had SARS and wanted to sit beside you at Church, would YOU want me to still be welcome as God’s child, in God’s Church? Or would you hope that I had enough consideration for YOU as God’s child also, that I would request for God to be brought to me instead of me placing myself first and risking YOUR safety?

A comment like the one you left indicates less thought about all the factors involved, and more thought about how much you just want to hate the Church.

The Rev. - I agree, which is why I suggested exactly that in my post. WWJD? I think all we have to do is read the Bible and see that Jesus went to the people when they couldn’t come to him and so it’s our task to find a way to bring Jesus to that family. The mother is placing herself and her family above everyone else and using “discrimination” to facilitate it.

Pam Duer - Not knowing her personally, I can’t respond to that. Carol is welcome to respond here should she find her way here.

John - I agree. A special service is a really wonderful idea. It could be something that Diocese offers and perhaps eventually one in every Diocese would be available. Going further, perhaps the Parish offering it could make sure their building is accessible to any type of disability (physical) since often Church buildings are old and individual parishes don’t have funds necessary for complete accessibility conversions. If thought was put into it, a difficult situation could be turned into something really positive!

Shinade - I agree with all you said. Sometimes parents have to decide if the fight they’re fighting really is the good fight. Sometimes we have to just do what’s truly in the best interest of the child. Winning the battle isn’t always what’s best for the child.

Thanks for you comments here. I really can’t agree more. I know that the Race family was offered at least two accommodations (viewing the mass on closed circuit and private home mass) that would both fulfill the Sunday obligation and allow the family to receive the Eucharist. It is very sad that this is being painted as the Church not welcoming a disabled child when the reality is so different.

because the church has brought this issue to court, I feel that it would only be fair that Carol Race brings her own civil suite against this particular pastor/church. she is a member and the church has cancelled her membership there for no good reason- also, this is a civil rights violation on the part of her son, he is being unfairly judged by the pastor. really sad-

Very well put! I liked your even tone rather than throwing out blame and accusations. Cheers.

I didn’t intend to get into the argument stakes on this one. But hey I guess I am about to! Just to say, would we ever know the full facts (ever) about what went on?
Dear Frac your post is most balanced … it is how I see it. The need for a parent to make a point against what is practicable.
I have so much sympathy with those parents who have a child who will be hard work and require so much patience & I know I (in this situ) would have tried to integrate my child fully but also I would hope I saw sense when it was not a feasible option and would not persist in the integration for 110 reasons. At the end of the day it is about reality .. how we are, how we live and what is right …. note there is no specific mention of the ‘absolute right’ of normality here! That is because I believe in common sense and the ‘back off’ theory. That being if you do believe in what ever religion you must you also must have tolerance. So in this case I see it as the church had tolerance to a point but the mother demanded more than normal tolerance should allow.
Press coverage and litigation is fore front in my mind it is not about being tolerant on the mothers front.. she is after making a point about something I would never let a child of mine go through

I’m always surprised by how many bloggers seem to have autistic children. There is some kind of connection there, but I’m not sure what it is.

And yeah, I’m not going to get into this debate. :)

An excellent well-balanced assessment.
The red flags for me were that the parish offered solutions that were turned down. My take: one of those families with a child with a disability that are going to insist on an unrealizable level of inclusion.

I would also imagine that this young man would be dispensed from Mass attendance on account of his disability. But I’m not a canon lawyer.

Who the heck is Pam Duer? She claims to somehow know me, yet I have never once had a conversation with her. Do I have a high standard of education? you bet! Isn’t that my duty as a parent to educate my children? Pam seems to somehow get to the heart of the issue in a round about way. It is the anger of a community where I have sought a level of education for my children that they seem to somehow think my kids don’t deserve. My kids (even my normal ones) are not allowed to participate in functions or be as smart or what have you as the people who expect to run the town of Bertha. It’s a small town of less than 500 where only certain names are important. Because I expect my children are just as important as theirs, I am “pushy”. They are all getting their vengeance now by claiming my son to be violent, and out of control which he is not. Tell me one child who by the age of 13 has never ever struck another child? This incident occured years ago and has never occured since. My normal children have been repeatedly taken off the server schedule at our church while other families with “names” are asked to serve sometimes twice in the same month. I’m going to find out who this Pam Duer is…I know she has got to be either a school staff or a friend of school staff. They really don’t like that my kids are given the same access to “status” activities as the “name brand” kids because I have to push for their inclusion. and these are my normal kids, not my autistic son.
With regard to Adam, we were never ever offered mass at home. I would have welcomed this. We were never ever offered any accomodations whatever, this was a song and dance Fr. Dan did to convince the parish council as well as the diocese that we were not willing to compromise. Ask him for the proof. he should have either a letter from me or a witness that I refused. I have letters from him stating his refusal to meet with me unless a third party is present. I did not refuse mediation. he is the one who finally refused to mediate. If priests can be pedophiles is it impossible to conclude that they might actually lie???
we are the victims of a community that routinely socially prunes families they do not want to remain in the community and they put pressure on Fr. Dan to join them in this venture. Why now? Because I dared to teach the confirmation class, many of whose parents were teachers or their close knit friends from the school. I was refused teaching the confirmation class on the very night I was told that the priest suddently thinks my son is a danger. Please realize that all the facts are not in the media.

Carol - I certainly hope that when all the facts are weighed by the appropriate people involved, that what is agreed upon, is in the best interest of your son, your family, and the peace of the community. Some people here have made wonderful suggestions, and I certainly hope that everyone in this situation can learn from it. Not just you and your community personally, but all of us.

I do wish you and your family the best.

I want to share the point of view of the parishioners. I am one. I have been a member of this church my whole life… the Race’s have been members for over ten years. We have embraced the family and helped them and ministered to them for over ten years. We LOVE this family. I particularly have a fondness for the two youngest girls. My heart breaks when I think that they will not be coming to our Masses because of this hurtful situation.
It also breaks my heart to have to say that as Adam has grown so large and is entering puberty, his behaviors truly have become violent and uncontrollable. His parents and teenage brother are the primary caregivers. And, when Adam is climbing over pews or bolting out of the door or getting into other people’s cars (in short, whenever it is appropriate or needed), other parishioners (the big strong men) do step in and help the family in controlling Adam (as much as that is even a possibility).
I hate to contradict the article or posts here, but the family has not taken advantage of our crying room for many years. They have a pew reserved for them in the back of the church. Our church building has a capacity for about 175 people. They are not inconspicuous - they sit in their pew. In fact, the crying room was one of the options that the church offered - along with mediation with an autism specialist to find other things that could help - and video streaming fo the Mass in the basement. The family refused all of the church’s offers.
We are a VERY small church. We truly did offer all that we could before it came to this. Our priest is miserable that it came to this. Our congregation stands behind this decision. We have been working with this family and with autism for ten years. We are not afraid of autism. We are not uneducated. We have other autistic parishioners. This is a tragic and isolated incident that has taken over a year of discussion and offers of help.
Please pray for our parish and for the family. Pray that hearts will be softened - the truth will be acknowledged - that understanding and love will prevail.

fracas - thank you for your perspective and for reading between the lines on this situation.
I am from a family that is not, as Carol calls them, a “name brand” family. It is true that in many situations in the community and the school, they have a stronger vote than the rest of us. I am sorry about that, but this is truly not one of those situations. This is truly a dangerous situation. Adam is certainly not aware that he is hurting people, but he has hit and kicked more than just this one child. He is not malicious, but he also cannot control his strength.
Thank you for searching for the truth!

Fracas,

Interesting and well balanced post. Found this while doing research for a blog I am writing about this incident.

The entire incident is a difficult predicament for all parties.

One of the families that attends our church has an autistic son. He is 12 and while there have been some problems accommodation have been made to facilitate his attendance. He has his own Sunday school teacher who has taught him for many years. Several church members including myself are trained to work with him. The family is also blessed to have support services that many in similar situations do not have.

darcee - I do hope all of the truth comes out in the end and this can be resolved.

Michael - As I said to others, I hope all the facts come out. As in most things, the truth usually lies in the middle of two stories.

Alice - Thank you.

70steen - I agree that the most important thing is to figure out what serves the best interests of the child.

diesel - Similarly, there seems to be a high percentage of bloggers who live with mental health issues (either of their own or someone they know and/or love). I say that not in judgement of them but as an observation. I think the connection is that blogging allows people living with disabilities and mental health issues a voice. I think that’s important no matter which role the person is in.

Anne - Thank you for recognizing that I didn’t want to just jump all over any one party in this.

Carol - Replied above.

beenthere - I do hope that everyone can meet somewhere in the middle and figure out what is the best for everyone involved. Not just Adam or his family… but all the people of that Parish and the town. It’s a tough life for everyone in such a small community if people don’t try to bring Jesus to each other.

TheDeeZone - Since Autism can be one thing in one individual and another thing for another, I do hope that everyone involved can consider that what may be possible for someone else’s autistic child may not be possible for Adam. That would also mean that obligations to the family might be different or more than they would be for another family. That can mean so many things… I hope everyone involved pauses to ask themselves how they can best serve God in that situation, which may not be what they think. After all, if people are serving themselves, then all of this is a lost cause anyway. Good luck with your research and your blog too!

Fracas,

TY, my post is written and scheduled for Tues. That is true about Autism. My 1st encounter with autism actually occurred at church. When I was 4 or 5 there was a boy in my Sunday school class with Autism. He spent most of the time hiding under the table. I just remember thinking he was scared and wanting my mom to make him feel better.

Fracas,

I was rereading your response to my 1st comment. My church may be better equipped to handle children with disabilities like autism than other churches. We have 3 or 4 disable children. We have at least 5-10 adults with training and experience in working disabilities.

Agreed. I meant that what each party in this situation might be thinking is what’s best, might turn out to be their own idea of what’s best, not what really is. The family might have to realize that their expectations are unrealistic, and the church might have to realize that their responsibility is to seek more solutions than the ones they’ve offered. I think if we pay attention, we see that everyone involved is trying to do what they think is best… I’m just challenging them all to examine if their approach is really the best they can do… family included.

The Race Family is in my thoughts and my prayers during this time. I am a mother of a son who has Autism, he is 8 yrs. old. So, when I heard this story on the news, it made me cry.And when my husband hear it, he was outraged about it. “God would never turn away a child from coming to hear his word” It is so sad what this church is doing to Adam Race. He is a child of god,too. Just like everyone else in this world. He deserves to go to church and hear God’s words. No matter if he has Autism or not. He still is a child of God.My son has had Autism since he was 3 yrs. old, he is now 8 yrs. old, and if our child banned him from going, I would fight for what is right just like the Race Family is doing for Adam! I will say a prayer every night for the Race Family. God Bless!

Kristen Granly
kristengranly@yahoo.com

Fracas,

My post is up.

Kristen - I totally understand your sentiments, but with all due respect, your son is only 8 and though you do have an autistic child, you don’t have any experience knowing how it is to have a 6′3″ over 200lb autistic child who doesn’t understand how his physical size and capabilities change everything. Just as someone with an autistic 2 year old doesn’t understand how things will be different when their child is 8, you have yet to understand how things will be different when yours is Adam’s age. And again, I mean that with no disprespect. I have two children who have (and are still) gone through disabilities that present differently at different ages. One of the best things a parent can do for themselves and their child, is recognize and admit that they don’t know it all (at any particular stage.. about a future stage that is), and be able to welcome wisdom and guidance from someone else who has been through a different stage.

As for God… well, Jesus didn’t just expect the people to go to Him, He went to the people. If the Church is prepared to bring Jesus to Adam because Adam can’t go to the Church… then they are doing what Jesus asked us to do. If they ban the family without trying to bring Jesus to the family, then that’s the wrong.

Currently, it seems the church is saying they’ve tried that and the family refuses; the family is saying the Church has not done that. When the truth comes out, that will be when it’s appropriate to be outraged at one side or the other. For now, our prayers shouldn’t be “for” or “against” anyone, but rather for everyone involved to be given the wisdom of knowing what is honestly the best thing for everyone here. If anyone is praying to get “their way” in this situation, then they’re out in left field. When we pray the Lord’s prayer, we pray for “Thy” will to be done on earth, and that mean’s God’s will… not our own. Why pray it if we don’t mean it?

The DeeZone - I’ll come by to read it! ;-)

Kristen & Fracas,

I agree with Fracas. Yes, the church has the responsibility to minister to all. However there are times that our expectations are not realistic or the best for all invovled. I have a background and training in Special education. Many parents and those with disabilities often have unrealistic expectations for themselves or their child. From what I have read it sounds like this family needs help coping with their son’s behavior. Their son has reached an age where it is not uncommon for boys with autism, mental retardation or similar disabilities to develop serious behavioral issues. The situation provides an opportunity for the church to minister to the family and meet needs.

TheDeeZone - Ooh, just read your post and left a comment there. The two examples you gave made me smile! We have a family with a son that makes me smile like that. He has Down Syndrome and he also has a form of Autism called Asperger’s. He really does make me smile. He altar serves and loves his parents so much that it’s not uncommon to see him up there sneaking in a wave to them in the front row. He is over 16, but is not 6′3″ and 200 lbs like Adam.

We do however, have several families in our neighbourhood, with Autistic children. Most have attended my children’s school since we run certain programs that make our school a preferable choice for developmentally challenged students. We’ve had a few children attend Mass who are more like Adam. These families have made use of the separate area created for families with babies, toddlers and situations like theirs. It is close to the door so if they need to step outside to calm someone down, they may. It is wired so that the speaker system provides them with every word being said and sung in the main area and it is behind glass so that they can watch as well as hear and still be able to feel like they aren’t disrupting the service. At Communion, the Priest brings it to them, serving their area and leaving the Eucharistic minister (volunteer helpers) to serve the rest of us.

This is a workable solution for everyone. If the Race’s parish has not tried any of this, they have a responsibility to. If they have and the Race’s refuse because they insist they should be able to sit in with everyone else regardless of Adam’s behaviour issues, then they are placing themselves above everything else including God. By not being willing to compromise in the name of Adam’s “rights” what they are doing is saying that they are more important than God. Shouldn’t they want to find a way to worship God because that is what’s important?

And you made a very important point at the end here.

Their son has reached an age where it is not uncommon for boys with autism, mental retardation or similar disabilities to develop serious behavioral issues. The situation provides an opportunity for the church to minister to the family and meet needs.

Indeed. But not just the church. The Race’s need to understand that for Adam’s future, they need to consider what’s necessary to help him with the behaviour issues, not just demand “rights” because if they focus on “rights” instead of help for him, they condemn him to a future in some institutional setting. They will get older as the days go by and unless they address his behaviour now, there will come a time when he is beyond their abilities and he will end up somewhere where they cannot guarantee 100% of the time, that the people dealing with his behaviours are able to do so out of love.

Isn’t that more important to them than if they get their way at church?

Fracas,
Isn’t that more important to them than if they get their way at church?

I guess I am also approaching the situation as a professional educator. I spent several years as a learning facilitator. It was my job to help students get the services they did to be successful in life and when possible arrange for community support services. Many times I dealt with parents who wanted the best for their child but had unreasonable expectations, lacked a good support system or needed help with their situation. Also, I have seen children not succeed or be limited by the parents placing more emphasis on their own wants rather than the best interest of the child. Even if Adam were allowed to attend services is the current setting benefiting him?

I am not trying to judge either the Races or the church.

I totally agree with what you just said.

This is off topic but I have enjoyed reading your blog.

For all the people out here outraged by all of this. Call your elected officials and demand our government look into the epidemic called autism instead of sweeping it under the carpet. Polio was and epidemic and the percentages of contracting polio was less than having autism. Does that scare anyone else. Grandparents, parents and even young adults looking at raising a family should be very concerned. But like most americans, IT CAN NEVER HAPPEN TO ME. Let’s pray that it don’t

Much of the epidemic of Autism can be attributed to the change in the way Autism is diagnosed. It is no-longer narrowly defined but now includes related disorders. That is why it is now referred to as the Autism Spectrum.

Also, I think you are mistaken about the occurrence of Autism compared to polio. Polio is an infectious communicable disease. Autism is not and the origin of Autism is unknown.

“epidemiology, an epidemic (from Greek epi- upon + demos people) is a classification of a disease that appears as new cases in a given human population, during a given menistral period, at a rate that substantially exceeds what is “expected,” based on recent experience (the number of new cases in the population during a specified period of time is called the “incidence rate”). (An epizootic is the same thing but for an animal population.) The disease may or may not be contagious.” Before polio was diagnosed I think you would have classified it unknown, which I feel would fall into this area. But it was really meant to indicate the percentages of afflicted versus the same during the polio epidemic. The numbers for autism are greater and getting larger every year. But why comment like it was a nonimportant analogy?

Jeff,

Not that it is non important but rather I don’t think it is a good comparison.

The funny thing is, if Jesus had been at that church, he would have just driven the demon out of the boy and he would be fine right now.

Mat17:19 Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
Mat17:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
Mat17:21 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

The church in question should have resorted to prayer and fasting rather than a restraining order.

But are you disputing the claim on the numbers or percentages of autism or are you just trying to be clericly or politicaly correct? Ok then, what would you or for that matter anyone else out here compare the problem we have with Autism with some of the other diseases of our past and present? Do you feel this is even a problem our government is, has or should be responsible for?

Sam,

The funny thing is, if Jesus had been at that church, he would have just driven the demon out of the boy and he would be fine right now.
Autism is no the same thing as demonic possession.

Jeff,

I’m not disputing the claim of numbers. I am trying to be politically or clerically correct. As a professional educator with over 10 yrs experience in Special education I know that the increase in numbers of autism is also due to boarding of the legal definition of Autism. I can’t remember which version of the DSM had the expanded definition that included an Autism spectrum and not on just Early Infantile Autism with an onset prior to age 3.

I would compare Autism with the increased diagnosis of Dyslexia to include related disorders.

Do I think the government is responsible for the increase in autism? Not enough data to know for sure. Yes, I know about the possible link with vaccinations. Too many factors there must be explored.

Please read my about me or my other writings about disabilities on my blog. You will find that I am very outspoken for the disabled. In the case described in the original post I am not supporting the church or the family. Rather my heart breaks for all parties involved.

While you make valid points Canon Law, the law of the Church, says that no Catholic who is in good standing (e.g. not excommunicated)can be denied entrance to Mass. Yes, the Eucharist can be brought to them and perhaps they should settle for that option however, the choice is theirs not the pastor’s.

The Race family needs to have some respect for others. Their church has clearly demonstrated a willingness to provide accommodations for a disabled individual - who happens to be their son. And that is all any organization is expected to do. It was their choice to refuse the options given.

If their 13 year old 200lb son WASN’T autistic - just a average person no disabilities of any kind - & he was spitting, urinating, fighting, yelling, knocking over elderly people, hurting & scaring kids…..while attending church - would we even be having this discussion???? NO we wouldn’t - he would have been asked to leave along time ago & there would be nothing wrong with that.

It seems they feel they don’t have the same RIGHTS as everybody else - fine - no more special considerations - you are just like everyone else - & so you should have the same responsibilities as everyone else does.

Yes he is autistic - yes thats too bad - but forcing people to have contact with their autistic son is only going to create anger & fear & intolerance.

You CanPar are either living in a cave or just stupid.
“If their 13 year old 200lb son WASN’T autistic - just a average person no disabilities of any kind - & he was spitting, urinating, fighting, yelling, knocking over elderly people, hurting & scaring kids…..while attending church - would we even be having this discussion???? NO we wouldn’t - he would have been asked to leave along time ago & there would be nothing wrong with that.”
If he was not autistic he would have to have someother type of mental health problem. people with no afflictions would not act this way.
“Yes he is autistic - yes thats too bad - but forcing people to have contact with their autistic son is only going to create anger & fear & intolerance.
Yes it’s a terrible that anyone has this illness, but what be worse is someone like yourself who supposedly has a brain and just don’t use it.

No Mr. Jeff Price - I do not live in a cave - I live in a dorm room on a university campus where I am pursuing an MA in social work.

An individual that chooses to urinate in public places or assault elderly people etc. need not suffer from some mental affliction. They may very well be just an idiot & as I said before someone that is disruptive in this manner would be asked to leave & no one would give it a 2nd thought. Some people are mentally ill yes & others are just ill mannered. Mental health or disability isn’t the issue here - the issue lies with whether or not an individual behaving aggressively could harm someone. Do they pose a risk to the health & safety of others around them.

For example I have seen adults who are mentally fit enough to have jobs & children completely loose all self control at a childs’ soccer game. Yelling screaming swearing throwing punches. They are ejected by force often & no one complains that this individuals rights have been violated. Why?? because - they were causing a disturbance - because their behavior was unacceptable or dangerous.

Now as to my being stupid or not using my brain - are you aware that you have 3 rather large grammar mistakes in your post?

“Yes it’s a terrible that anyone has this illness, (a terrible what?)

but what be worse is someone like yourself (would)

who supposedly has a brain and just don’t use it.” (don’t - that should be does not or doesn’t)

This situation is baffling to me. I am an Episcopalian, discerning to enter into the diaconate program. I am the mother of two Autistic children. The diocese of St. Cloud released this statement regarding the restraining order “as a last resort our of a growing concern for the safety of parishioners and other community members due to disruptive and violent behavior on the part of THIS child” (emphasis added)…. I have a problem with this… I wonder if it was in fact a last resort???? Did the church offer accommodations for the family? Was there an alternate unused room that the family could have listened to the service from via web cam or microphone, the family could have attended the holy Eucharist with the community of the church and returned their “designated area” after receiving communion? Was there any offer to assist them (financially) or welcome a therapist qualified to work with their son? Did they consider the unique needs of a child with Autism? Did they ask the parents what they could do to help????? Or did they just make a judgement??? My point is did they exhaust all options before making their decision? And about what Jesus would do!!!!!!!!! You are so out of line!!!! Jesus loved all children, never intended for the “church” to have a capital C as in Catholic!!!! Lastly, I am blessed my children are always welcome in church… Even as infants when they would cry, and cry, before I knew why… my priest would interrupt her own sermon and say things like, “it is so nice to hear the voice of a child” God Bless!

“Jesus loved all children, never intended for the “church” to have a capital C as in Catholic!!!!”

Unfortunately, statements like that will tend to make some people disregard everything you’ve said. It’s clearly not a statment you can make from fact but rather your own interpretation. If you would like people to take seriously, your comments about the issue at hand, leaving your personal religious opinions might make that easier to do. This isn’t an issue about whether it’s right to be Catholic or right to be Episcopalian, it’s an issue about how best to serve those with Autism and their families, while also respecting everyone else.