fracas

Porn.

You’ve desired it. You know you have. Come on, be honest with yourself. You’ve probably even tried to look for it… waking yourself in the middle of the night and sneaking over to the computer, typing the letters into the search box one key at a time so as not to make noise and wake anyone who might then find you there like a thief, clearing the cache so no one knows about your little “secret” obsession.

That’s right. You’re busted. I know you’ve done it. I know you’ve tried to find it.

I know you’ve tried to find food porn!

Now I’m not talking about that kind of porn where some very uninhibited people are doing things with produce (or some items from the other food groups) that make a person really know they don’t want to eat that afterwards. 

I’m also not talking about the photos of food so beautifully presented and photographed that just to be able to actually taste the dish, you’d walk through broken glass, give up your first born child, and sit bare-bottom in a field of poison ivy. 

I’m talking about porn… the old fashioned kind where your eyes are treated to photos of all kinds of naughty bits… only the naughty bits are actually made out of food. Food that grew that way because, well… it decided that if Paris Hilton could be famous for nothing other than showing her naughty bits, why should she get all the glory?

So this Friday will mark the first installment of a regular feature here at the fraccy farm, a feature called Friday Food Porn.

You’ll be able to find here every Friday, some naughty fruit, vegetable or other type of food that just can’t stay out of trouble, and you’ll also find a recipe for a tasty dish using that naughty little item. Please, feel free to click the images if you need to see all the naughty edibles up close and personal!

To start this off with a bang, I give you…

Red Chili Nightmare

(As found at Pastry Wiz]
Yield: 4 Servings

1 c Pinto beans,dried
5 c Water
2 tb Lard
1 tb Bacon drippings
1 Onion
12 oz Pork sausage,country-style
1 lb Beef,coarse grind
4 Garlic cloves
1 ts Anise
1/2 ts Coriander seeds
1/2 ts Fennel seeds
1/2 ts Cloves,ground
1 Cinnamon stick,ground,1″
1 ts Black pepper,freshly ground
1 ts Paprika
1 Nutmeg,ground,whole
1 ts Cumin
2 ts Oregano,dried,pref. Mexican
4 tb Sesame seeds
1 c Almonds,blanched,skins removed
12 Red chiles,whole dried or
1 1/2 c Chile caribe
1 1/2 oz Milk chocolate,small pieces
1 cn Tomato paste(6oz ea)
2 tb Vinegar
3 ts Lemon juice
1 Soft tortilla,chopped
Salt

1. Place the rinsed beans in a bowl, add 2 to 3 cups of water and soak overnight. Check the beans occasionally and add water as necessary to keep them moist.
2. Pour the beans and the water in which they were soaked into a heavy saucepan and add 2 to 3 more cups of water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then lower heat and simmer, partially covered, for about 45 minutes, until the beans are cooked but still firm. Check occasionally and add water if necessary. Drain the beans, reserving the cooking liquid.
3. Melt the lard in a heavy skillet over medium heat. Add the beans and lightly fry them in the lard. Set aside.
4. Melt the drippings in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until it is translucent.
5. Combine the sausage and the beef with all the spices up through the oregano. Add this meat-and-spice mixture to the pot with the onion. Break up any lumps with a fork and cook, stirring occasionally, until the meat is very well browned.
6. Add the reserved bean-cooking liquid to the pot. Stir in all the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and cook, uncovered, for 1/2 hour longer. Stir occasionally. Add water only if necessary to maintain the consistency of a chunky soup.
7. Taste when curiosity becomes unbearable and courage is strong. Adjust seasonings. 

Bon Appetit!

[Wikipedia Definition of Food Porn] 

And you know what? I think there are a few people over at Humor-Blogs who probably can’t help themselves either! Maybe they’ve been in some porn… maybe they just like eating it? You’ll never know unless you click over there and find out for yourself.