fracas


Great Tits. Britain vs North America?

We’ve heard it over and over… global warming is a bad thing. Some have started campaigns to stop it, some have protested and some have excercised our right to vote for politicians who care and understand that global warming is truly a danger.

That is, unless you’ve got great tits.

Oh… and your tits are British.

I received a tip (that was a tip, not a tit ) from a friend and what I learned was alarming!

 “Researchers found that great tits are laying eggs earlier in the spring than they used to, keeping step with the earlier emergence of caterpillars.

Writing in the journal Science, they point out that the same birds in the Netherlands have not managed to adjust.”

Now, I wasn’t sure I cared all that much about tits from the Netherlands, but I was truly upset to learn that somehow, those British tits are doing better than our North American birds. Perhaps it’s because of a certain British old fart git, who tries so hard to get my goat every now and again, but I have this inner voice that just will not allow me to concede defeat to a Brit.  

So this cannot be. British tits somehow figuring out how to adapt to a new worldly weather order, and North American birds floundering? We North Americans must band together and do something drastic!

I, determined to find some North American tits that were enjoying the warmer weather, set out to do just so. To my utter and devastating dismay, I learned something awful.

There are no great tits in North America!

There is simply no way any tit-loving North American could stand for this. Great tits in North America must be located.

As anyone who knows the fracas can attest to, all it takes to fire me up is the chance that there’s an injustice happening. Quicker than you could say Olga, The Traveling Bra, I’d bolted from my chair and had out the poster paper, markers and sticks; protest signs raring to go and a phoning tree organized.

I was determined to find some great tits in North America… I just needed help.

Within the hour, there we were, a small but very vocal group with protest signs waving in the wind and our hearts beating with the excitement of knowing that we were doing something so valuable it would certainly go down in the record books as nothing short of heroic! After all… we were saving North America from the embarassment of being a land where no great tits can be found. We were small in numbers, but great in spirit and determination not to allow the British to be known as the land of great tits. 

We couldn’t have felt any prouder. It was a feeling everyone should experience at least once in their lives.

How were we to know though, that this glory would be short-lived? We’d only been on duty less than an hour when it happened. There was a fury of flashing lights, sirens (and a news camera or two) and before you know it, there we were in a holding cell, waiting for our loved ones to fetch us.

Honestly, I don’t see what we did wrong.

The arresting officer couldn’t keep from laughing (and oddly, staring at all the good, kind souls who were inspired by our signs.) He kept mumbling something under his breath that sounded like ‘Wikipedia’ and ‘Damn Fools.’

I suppose had I checked Wikipedia, I’d have known that indeed, North America does have some great tits… we just call them something else.

Who could blame me though? Everyone knows you shouldn’t rely on Wikipedia for your information… don’t they?

In the end, I may have spent a little time in the slammer, suffered a few indignities and wasted a few dollars on making those signs, but it was all worth it to defend the honor of Great (North American) Tits.

I just hope the judge understands.

If you too, support Great Tits in North America, please show your support by sharing this post and showing the fracas that a little jail time was worth it.

Read more about Great Tits:

And hey… you know this is Humor-Blog worthy!


18 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Not only do you have Great Tits young Fraccy but I also believe you have Blue Tits as well - being the Northern Wastes an’ all.
I’ve noticed that Archie, from down under, has Tits as well …… they seem to be everywhere ….. must indeed be the warmer weather ……. ow, my neck really is beginning to get quite painful.

Comment by Daddy Papersurfer May 9, 2008 @ 11:23 am

I cringe as I ask. So, dear Fraccy, what are great tits called in North America?

*cringes again*

Comment by Linda May 9, 2008 @ 11:23 am

Oh, I’m a huge supporter of great tits, and have had the good fortune of getting up close and personal with at least TWO of ‘em in my lifetime! As a world traveling bra, I am pretty much an expert on this subject, and I can attest to the fact that North America does indeed have plenty of great tits…or Ta-Ta’s as I prefer to call them. Stay tuned to my blog & in a couple of weeks I will SHOW you some really great tits hanging out in California! Ha-HA!!!

Comment by Olga, the Traveling Bra May 9, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

PS: I hope your lawn burns are healing nicely…

Comment by Olga, the Traveling Bra May 9, 2008 @ 12:23 pm

and what about those who are lazy and “useless as tits on a boar hog”? Are they American or British?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=useless+as+tits+on+a+boar+hog

Comment by lifeskillz101 May 9, 2008 @ 3:50 pm

I am not without my own also…thank you!! This is just too much. And, speaking of birds….that’s right….today I have another fearful Canadian that just flew in.

This time I think it is because of Olga, robert and Speedy.

I hope the pictures turn out…..because I am telling on them again if I can retrieve the proof from my camera!!

Comment by shinade May 9, 2008 @ 4:21 pm

Britain got the tits, we got the teeth–which will come in more handy in the long run.

Comment by Meg May 9, 2008 @ 6:19 pm

Ah, yes…reminds me of my teaching days when I handed a bird guide to a 6th grader and he leafed though it and then yelled out, “I found a Booby!”
;-) (blue footed, I think)

Comment by phantommidge May 9, 2008 @ 9:08 pm

Oh, and I must point out (although I will probably hate myself in the morning…)that the caption on the inset picture of the great tit chick says “Enlarge” but does not activate on my screen. If I cannot enlarge my great tits, then I just don’t know what I will do…Sigh.

Comment by phantommidge May 9, 2008 @ 9:15 pm

LOLZ!

Comment by Art MD May 10, 2008 @ 1:15 am

excellent….. we have a mass of tits over here (mainly driving BMWs) .. if you like I could send one great tit over to North America. He already has a cardboard box …. no return necessary. We love to share us Brits (really no need to thank me *snigger*)

Comment by 70steen May 10, 2008 @ 1:39 am

lol @ 70s

Comment by Linda May 10, 2008 @ 10:02 am

I heard that …….

Comment by Daddy Papersurfer May 10, 2008 @ 10:13 am

70s… you forgot to add the invisibility brackets!! Sheesh. He heard you. *laughs*

{{Psst - 70s… you have to use curly brackets. it’s something about his eyes. he can’t see stuff in curly brackets. it works at his blog, too. i’ve tried it to be sure. but shhh. don’t talk about the curly brackets except IN curly brackets. }}

Comment by Linda May 10, 2008 @ 12:42 pm

{{{ sheesh how on earth did I forget the curly girlie brackets when I originally introduced them? Won’t make that mistake again ;-) lol }}}

Comment by 70steen May 10, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

Well, I can’t speak for Canada, but being the patriotic citizen of the U.S. of A., I can holler with pride about all the big boobs we’ve elected into office.

Was it John Wayne (or was it David Hasselhoff) who said, “May the wings of lunacy (or was it liberty)never lose a feather”?

Comment by Cowgirl Betty May 10, 2008 @ 5:43 pm

(I must remember that goddesses can’t read stuff in these brackets. GIRLS SMELL!!!)

Sorry Fraccy, I was going to leave a comment but lost it at the last minute.

Comment by Daddy Papersurfer May 11, 2008 @ 1:00 am

DP - Indeed, there are tits everywhere. I recall even the Papersurfer Junior was inspired by tits.

Linda - To find a tit here, one should look up ‘Titmouse’ or ‘Chickadee’ even. I heard the bird call from this guy at the store the other day. He said, “Chick… a dee” but I don’t think there were any birds around at the time. Odd.

Olga - I do not doubt that some great tits hang around in California, and my lawn burns are doing ok! ;-)

lifeskillz101 - I think we have some of those here in Canada too.

Shinade - I believe you! Please do convince those fearful birds of yours to come on down.

Meg - Actually I learned we do have great tits here. So great tits and great teeth… we’re just so superior! (Should I run now?)

phantommidge - Oops. I screen capped that pic to get the credit in and didn’t notice the “enlarge” was still there. So sorry!

ArtMD - Thanks!

70steen (and Linda) - ROTFL

DP - No you didn’t. I think there was an echo in the box.

Linda - It’s ok. {{He’s an old git, so won’t remember tomorrow.}}

70steen - I think you were so excited at the idea of sending him somewhere this far away, that you just forgot about the brackets.

Cowgirl Betty - Oh we do that from time to time too. I know here in Saskatchewan, we’ve just recently had a boob reduction though! ;-)

DP - Um, you forget that I do the cauldron thing over here. That might work at your blog but over here, I we know everything. Are you sure the comment is the only thing you’ve lost? ;-)

Comment by fracas May 11, 2008 @ 1:32 am



Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>