fracas

Recently it was brought to my attention that while I was busy whining about all the maladies and inconveniences in my family the last few months, I’d been negligent in posting lolcat scripshers. You can’t imagine how badly I feel. I mean, it’s not like there’s an actual brick and mortar church for the lolcatz to minister to you or anything…

Please accept my apologies and enjoy today’s daily lolcat readings. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for any of you being codemned to the basement because of me.

Luke 24 

Goin to Emmaus

13 Dat day a coupl of teh follorz wuz goin to Emmaus wich iz diz place somewere.

14 An talkin about whut had jus happnd wich iz dat JezuzKat wuz sleepin fur long time now, wich make senze they talk bout dat cuz they not have TV or Intertubez too watch.

15 Whiel dey wuz talkin Jesus comd up, witch he cud do cuz he not sleepin on da two big stiks no more.

16 But he look diffrent frum befour cuz he felt lik bein tricksie so they think he jus sum uther guy, like Gandalf in LOTR LOL.

17 He wuz liek “How iz yu gentlemenz? WHAT HAPPEN?!?” Dey got all sad in da face.

18 Wun of dem – hiz naem wuz Cleopas, but dat not imporant – wuz all “Were U bin, in sum hole in da ground? Bcz u doant know what happen? Someonez set Uz up da bomb.”

19 “What yu sai?” sed Jesus. “Liek dere waz dis d00d Jesus,” dey sed.

20 “Dey killded him on too big stiks.

21 An we wuz hopin he wud saev dis hole big cuntry we in. Suprize dow, dey killded him real ded three dayz ago!

22 Plus dis mornin sum of teh ladiez wented to teh big hole.

23 Dey didn’t finded hiz bodi but dey sez dere wuz birdkatz in a hole sayin he wuz not really ded fur al time, jus short time cuz it not realie dat fun.

24 Sum of our frendz wented to teh big hidey hole. It not haz any ded stuff in it but dere wuzint enni birdkatz dere ether.”

25 Jesus wuz liek “Foolz u iz actin liek n00bz that kries.

26 Itz not liek Jesus didint explaen all dis whiel he wuz here.”

27 So he tellded em stuff frum in teh Bible, wich is diz book, stuff from teh beginnin, wich waz lotz of talkin. Dey stil didint know who he wuz k. Meybe diz cuz dey stoopid az dogz. Mebbe not.

28 When dey gotted near Emmaus, witch wuz dat place, he pritendid he wuz goin farthr.

29 But dey wuz all liek “Itz dark which iz SCARY, u can stai wif us PLZ.” So he did.

30 When dey hadded dinnr he taked teh cookies an sed “Thank yu Ceiling Cat” an gived dem to evribodi.

31 Den dey see hez not jus sum guy, he Jezuz Kat! Dey sey “ITZ YU!!”. So he move “ZIG” like Ceiling Cat lazerz an iz gone LOL.

32 Dey wuz all lookin fur he undur dat table like “WTF?”

33 Dey wented straet bak to Jerusalem, wich iz da big citee, to teh othr katz

34 An wuz liek “Itz true! Jesus Kat iz aliev an Simon seed him wit hiz eyes.”

35 Dey tellded what had happnd, witch waz lots uf stuf dat waz sayed befor, so jus think uf dat stuff said one mor time.

(Don’t understand kitty pidgin? You can also get today’s scripture here.)

[Image Sources: lolcat bible and i can has cheezburger]