Filed under: Amusement, Blogging, Entertainment, Oddities, Personal, Shameless Self Promotion, Stupidity, Who Cares | Tags: body piercing poll, naked gums, polls
It’s all your fault.
You.
The fraccy readers.
Because of your answers to my last poll over at the other fraccy blog, I’ve had to get tough with the newest poll. I’ll know by the numbers of voters there, if most of you have:
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Teeth that rest in a cup of water by your bedside at night. (And I know some of you do…)
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A penchant for chicken (though it may have to be boiled and mashed prior to consumption).
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Citizenship in this town.
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An irrational fear that people will know how you voted in an anonymous poll.
Gads, the things you people make me do.
Filed under: Announcements, Friends, Fuel My Blog, General, Humor, Spoofs | Tags: Daddypapersurfer, Inventions, office help, Omblogsman, while you were out
I like to help out my friends, and it seems Daddypapersurfer is in need right now. I’ve happily agreed to help him out.
You see, he was complaining explaining how he feels his words are being copied and pasted over at the Fuelmyblog blog, and in the process, made mention of a desire to report this to the Omblogsman. He asked for their address.
Being the nosy busybody good friend I am, I decided to search for such information and help him out. The odd thing though, is that when a person does search for that, they come upon none other than Daddypapersurfer’s site!
Now, you might notice some other chap has registered the domain omblogsman.com,. That happened back in 2005, but to date, he’s done nothing with it. It’s a bloody outrage I tell you. All these people in desperate need of an advocate and he’s sitting on the domain name, probably hoping to sell it for… money. Daddypapersurfer would never do that. In fact, I’m pretty sure he isn’t even planning on charging for his services. He just wants to help each and every one of you with your problems because he is quite truthfully, a veritable Saint.
It seems then, that the only rational thing to do, is to dub DaddyP the omblogsman of the interweave.
I’ve volunteered to take such calls for him while he’s away on his current little jaunt where he suffers from lack of the bandwidth, and while I do have a few stipulations regarding what I will and won’t do… you are all free to leave comments here stating the nature of your omblogsman needs. I will see that he gets each and every message.
Thanks to this really smart guy, I’ve located a high-tech means to keep track of any and all messages that come in for him while he’s out. All of you fraccy office temps out there might want to try this out to increase your productivity. If you click the thumbnail, you’ll be able to see how this neat little invention has made me such a success at what I do.
So there you have it. Leave your comments, complaints, problems and miseries here for the interweave’s new Omblosgman… Daddypapersurfer.
Oh. Excuse me. There’s a shoe auction closing in the next 3 minutes. I’ll just have to put you on hold.
Filed under: Amusement, Blogging, Entertainment, Friends, General, Humor, Lists, Meme, Personal, Random Thoughts, Shameless Self Promotion, Stupidity, Who Cares, Women | Tags: 39 things, lies, questions about fracas
I’ve come back to the blogworld to find it’s been taken over by a meme that plays that no, really… I am only 39 game. I saw it at John’s, who got it from Dar… and I noticed 70steen had already jumped in and well… I thought perhaps I should too. After all, sometimes when I do a meme, I actually lie… and so part of the fun in reading a meme at the fraccy blog, is in figuring out if you should believe my answers.
Some of you are smart and get it right. I have prizes for you. [1]
So here goes.
1. What is your occupation?
Full time bitch. It pays lousy, but gives immense personal satisfaction.
2. What color are your socks right now?
Lilac – angora. Bunnies are for wearing.
3. What are you listening to right now?
Not a thing.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Shrimp, Greek Salad and Focaccia bread with that olive oil/balsamic vinegar/minced garlic dip.
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
In a vehicle? Okay.. no.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Green. Fraccy Green of course, and yes… I hear Crayola is indeed going to call it “Fraccy” Green from now on.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
If we’re talking cellphone, then Mr. Fracas. If we’re talking the old-fashioned kind of phone, then LindaC.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
No one sent it… I just took the damn thing. Do I like the person I took it from? As I understand it, I’m a cross between his dog, his sister and his mother. I’m not sure if I should like him or send him to his room without supper.
9. Favorite drink?
Beer.
10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Ballroom dancing. Think it’s not a sport? Try it.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
No. I have used colored mustache wax in my 20s. [2]
12. Pets?
Yes, I have thirteen cats and a guinea pig (they’re not really pigs you know) in the house and two Canadian Geese and a Rouen Duck in the fraccy back yard.
13. Favorite food?
Lobster. I was kidnapped at birth and condemned to live in meat country, a situation I find unbearable at times.
14. Last movie you watched?
That Stepmom movie with Susan Sarandon. It’s hard to watch her in anything and not want to sing, “Dammit Janet.”
15. Favorite Day of the year?
Groundhog day. I could just do that one over and over and over…
16. What do you do to vent anger?
I spit… hence the saying, “I’m so mad I could just spit.” Indeed, the focal point of the fraccy garden is a lovely, cast iron spitoon.
17. Your favorite toy as a child?
It’s a toss-up between Barbie, or myself. By that, I mean that I used to set up “school” and be the teacher, bossing around the fraccy younger brother and sister and making them do math worksheets, spelling, etc. Imagine that… me, bossing anyone around. This one must be one of those lie answers, right?
18. What is your favorite, fall or spring?
Fall.
19. Hugs or kisses?
Sorry all you huggers out there, but I’ve got to say kisses. Are you for real? Have you not been kissed properly or something? Oh… not those kind of kisses. Okay, then hugs. Ick. Who wants kisses unless they’re those kind of kisses? Geez, what a dumb question.
20. What kind of pie?
Real, properly prepared Saskatoon Berry, or Rhubarb as a second choice since most people have no idea what a Saskatoon Berry pie tastes like.
21. Do you want your friends to email you back?
From this post? Heck no, post a comment.
22. Who is most likely to respond?
As a comment, since I’m posting this in the wee hours… probably one of those Brits who sneak all over our blogs while we’re asleep because they’re 7 or so hours ahead of us. No.. I don’t mean Jamie Oliver, although I heard he does seem to like the fracas. Shhh. He’s trying to keep that one out of the tabloids.
23. Who is least likely to respond?
That guy out there with the blog I’ve never been to yet… yeah, him. He doesn’t like me, he never comments here.
24. Living arrangements?
Yes, I’d like to continue doing so. The alternative kind of sucks.
25. When was the last time you cried?
This morning. I was watching Telemiracle.
26. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes. Did you expect something else from the creator of the fraccy Red Shoe Diaries?
27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
I don’t forward anything like this via email. I never have. I’m too old to change my ways.
28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to?
Ok, I guess I’m old but you’re hard of hearing. Sorry. I said… I don’t forward anything like this via email. I never have. I’m too old to change my ways.
29. Favorite smell?
Newborn baby. No, I don’t plan on smelling it again soon and all three of the fraccy children had better also understand that. It’s a great smell, but I can wait.
30. What inspires you?
Beer.
31. What are you afraid of?
Not much. It’s a waste of time and emotions. Aren’t those emotions better spent on the things that make you feel good?
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
None. I don’t really like hamburgers. If I have to eat one, I’d prefer it was an A&W Teenburger. Thanks. I did not get paid to say that. This is not a paid post, WordPress does not allow paid posts at the dot com site.
33. Favorite car?
One that works and isn’t a stick shift. A stick shift is a waste of my wrists. I need those for other, more important things.
34. Favorite cat breed?
Hmmm. I think I have to say Gypsy Fra-Kitty. She’s ticked at me for ditching on her American Idol predictions post this past week. If I don’t say I like her best, she has plans to bury things I don’t want to find in my vegetable garden. I can’t take that risk.
35. Number of keys on your key ring?
Four. You figure out what they’re for.
36. How many years at your current job?
Ummm… 43. If you can’t figure that one out, maybe you need some beer?
37. Favorite day of the week?
One that ends in a ‘y’.
38. How many cities have you lived in?
3. If you ask me how many cities I’ve driven back and forth from, while Mr. Fracas worked there, the answer then changes to 693. Ok, it only felt like that many, but trust me… it’s enough to warrant some big-ass honkin’ award. [3]
39. How many countries have you been to?
All of them. Oh. You mean for real? Hmm. I can’t tell you because then I’d have to kill you. I told you, I don’t make your meme reading easy or truthful… just fun.
[1] Geez, don’t you learn? There are no prizes for this, that was a lie!
[2] Wait.. that was John.
[3] And by that, I do mean new shoes.
