fracas

Matthew 4

Jesuz begunz 2 preech, amirite?

12 Wen Jesus founded out dat John wuz in prison he made tracks fr Galile

13 An staid in Capernaum at teh c-side bt he dint tak his bukkit an spayd.

14 Cuz teh wize Esaias sed

15 “In all teh base, laik Zabulon n Nepthalim n teh c n Jordan (yeh even KT Prys) n Galilee.

16 Jesus will turn on teh liteswitch fr teh kittenz dat iz sittin in teh dark.”

17 Dat iz wen Jesus strted 2 tell teh kittenz, “repent cuz teh kngdom of heaven am at hand btw.”

The callin of teh frist desipels

18 Den Jesus bumpded into 2 broz hoo wuz fisherzmen n wuz called Simon AKA Peter n Andrew AKA Lil’ Bro

19 N Jesus sed, “Comes wit me n u can b manfisherz.”

20 N cuz Jesus am teh 1337, dey wuz laik, “kthx.”

21 N den Jesus met James n John, hoo wuz chillin on a bote wit dair pops, hoo wuz Zebedee frm teh Magic Roundabout.

22 N dey also went wit Jesus.

Jesuz heels teh sIckly

23 Jesus tuk hs crew roun Galilee, teechin in teh tmples n preechin teh gospel n heelin teh sick.

24 N Syria herd all bout his 1337ness an brot all der sick 2, laik teh crzy 1s n teh 1s dat Saitan had fiddlded wit, n Jesus heeled dem 2.

25 An laik meellions an meellions of d00dz followed Jesus frm all ovr teh wrld.

(Don’t understand kitty pidgin? You can also get today’s scripture here.)

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