fracas

Matthew 3

Teh baptizum of Jesuz!

13 Den Jesus caem from Gallalee, to has baptizm from John

14 But John was all “Ur doin it rong, j00 needz to baptize me”

15 And Jesus answered sayin “STFU and baptize me n00b” and John did.

16 Wen he was baptized he gtfo of teh water and, ZOMG, teh ceilinz opened up and teh Spirit of Ceiling Cat caem down liek a duv and landeded on him

17 And, ZOMFGWTF, a voice from heven sayed “Hai
guise, dis my son, and I tink he teh leet”

(Don’t understand kitty pidgin? You can also get today’s scripture here.)

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