fracas

Some things have come to my attention today. Some disturbing, some that make a fracas shake her head and think, “Yes, that figures… I knew it all along.”

I shall share with you then, these revelations.

I have learned, that there is the possibility that some people have snuffed the poor old git.

No, no. Don’t be alarmed… he is still quite alive and kicking to be sure. One only needs to click the link to his blog to see that. He is most definitely alive and kicking, in fact, his new tactic is, as he explains…  is to join me in posting “pictures of half naked people, luscious lips and salacious activities.”

Much like my encouragement to vote for bluepaintred, and to vote for JohnC, he has also encouraged readers to support Fuelmyblog. He has used ever so slight trickery to suggest that people might be supporting Fuelmyblog, but lo and behold, upon clicking the link he has created of his most trickery-laden words, one learns they have been transported to vote for none other than the daddy himself.

I’m aghast at his new tactics. Fooling his dear, dear readers into thinking they are voting for the honorable Kevin and Sylvie’s most honorable Fuelmyblog venture when the click actually takes them to the old git. Will he stop at nothing?

I have posted this comment at his blog.

“I become more fearful each day, to click on his link. I have ordered an extra case of smelling salts and advised Mr. Fracas to book some time off work to stay home with me until the end of the month in case I should click one day and find photographs of the old git that cause me to faint.

I’d be willing to share the salts if anyone else has the same concerns.”

Now, having assured you that he is still alive and well still his same old self, I would like to ask all the fraccy supporters not to snuff the poor chap over at fuelmyblog. There has been quite the competition between he and I, and indeed, there have been vast quantities of smelling salts purchased due to his cantankerous qualities, but fracas has compassion for the old git and does not want her supporters to snuff him. I am afraid that it will be too much for him to bear and I’d hate for the TG (that goddess of a woman who has been able to tolerate enjoy him all these years) to be forced to search for him should he run off like Gertrude the llama did quite recently.

And do not bring up his obsession with paper Uma as a reason to click that little button that says “snuff”. We must remember that he is old, and it is quite reasonable for the aged to develop these little crushes on movie stars in the same way that our young teens love to fill their walls with paper Orlando Bloom, or paper Vanessa Hudgens. It is harmless, and I’m sure the TG understands and bears him no ill will for it. (I understand she may or may not have some paper of her own in the pantry, though not because she is old, for she is not… but because, well… she is living with the old git. Nuff said.)

So, because there has been some very strong words back and forth due to this competition, I have decided to share some information with you. And lo… here is:

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About DaddyPapersurfer… But Were Afraid To Ask!

1. Though he portrays himself as a poor old pensioner, he is actually rich beyond measure.
2. In response to my giving him my valuable prize of the oneredpaperclip book I won by writing a witty and colorful post  that clearly knocked the socks off of oneredpaperclip author (and the now resident and owner of a home in  Kinley, Saskatchewan because of his superior trading skills) Kyle MacDonald , he did try to sucker convince not just I, but Sylvie as well, to participate in a wet t-shirt contest wearing shirts sporting his mug.
3. Indeed, he has whined suggested the Fuelmyblog folks should remove not just me… but all Canadians from their registry. 
4. Indeed, he has tried to sway the fraccy voters into snuffing fracas, but fracas doesn’t like the snuffing feature and thinks it is enough to not vote for someone. Snuffing should be saved for people who do something untoward to the Fuelmyblog folks, who have been good, kind people and created a community second to none. Please don’t snuff the old git. Just vote for me every day instead.

But now, now. Fracas is mainly a good-natured kind of gal… as are most Canadians (proven by world opinion that is) and so does not want fraccers to think she is really upset with the old git. Nawww. Fracas is here to let you know that indeed, there are good points to be made about him, cantankerous old fart or not. Here are some.

1. He continues to post in his world’s longest thread attempt. Pretty ambitious for an old man I’d say. Nevermind he requires the likes of paper Uma to keep his mind entertained, Sylvie and 7osteen to check on him daily, JohnC to get him riled up just so we know for sure he’s alive in there, and an assortment of others who stop by infrequently just to witness the spectacle.
2. He has a tremendously talented grandson. Wait. That might be to someone else’s credit. We’ll let him have that one though… I think Junior Papersurfer would want to let grandpa win here and there. 
3. He has the power of Tippex.

In closing, please dear fraccers, don’t snuff the old git. He is trying in every way that he can, to win the contest and use the money for more of his schemes (though my winning the contest would help reimburse me for the many, many dollars I have spent on the smelling salts I’ve required due to his cantankerous behaviour)  but rather than want him to suffer the agony of the snuffs, I would rather the voters each found one other person to vote for your dearest friend fracas, and show the poor old fellow that trickery only works in the movies.  It’s our duty, and one I am proud to be undertaking.

After all, if it takes a village to raise a child… it most certainly also takes a village to take care of an old fart.

I’m willing to do my part. Please do yours.

Click the Canadian Flag, vote for Fracas and help teach DaddyPapersurfer that trickery never pays.