fracas

…according to ‘Howard M. Hill’ (probably not the real source, since all these penis marketers seem to spam using email names and addresses obtained with their little bots electronic thieves that scour the internet looking for addresses from people who aren’t smart enough to protect their email addresses these days) in the email I just received. Since I am female, I assume he wants me to pass this valuable information on to all the men I happen to be aquainted with in life.

And so I shall. The email promised:

“At last you will never have a problem with your size any more.
We have something special that will make all your ’se^xual desires come true.
Leave behind what you’ve heard before. The new era for you begins!
Girls will go crazy!
Friends will be jealous!
And you will At last your new life! Like a real man with a real penis!
Try MegaDik and enjoy your new size!”

It does puzzle me, because I’m not sure exactly who needs this kind of marketing.  It seems to me, and a whole host of online experts, that men with small penises are real men just as men with large penises are. So who then is MegaDik marketing to?

Pinocchio?

That would make sense. Pinocchio’s problem was that he wanted to be a real boy… and presumably grow into a real man… with a real penis. I bet he’d want one that would rival his nose…

and perhaps grow just as easily.

He’d never need to receive emails like this then. Or at least if he did, he could just delete them like the rest of us.

And that, dear fraccers, is probably a concept that has a lot of the fraccy readers quite, shall we say… excited?

You don’t need silly products to enhance your penis, according to the fraccy plan, it grows when you lie. What a concept.

Guy in Bar: Hi baby, I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
Woman in Bar: You’re sitting on your wha… ooooh, he-llooo!

I’m just here to help. It’s what I do.

So next time you receive an email like this, just toss it into your spam bin and remember that fracas has the best plan of all. No pills, no money lost.

Just lie.

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