In this post I listed some things I did while I was away, only most of them weren’t true. Only four of them were. I promised to post a photo a day to tell the truth about which four were true, only that too, was a lie.
Well, not totally a lie. I have posted photo one and photo two, but I haven’t posted them daily. I tried to get away with it by making excuses about watching movies in order to write my Monday Melee “At The Movies” post, but I doubt you believe that.
Would you believe I haven’t posted the photos daily because Sex has kept me busy?
No, you heathens, not sex… Sex. The person.
Hmm. Didn’t think so.
Anyway, I’d like to share with you now, if that’s ok… the third of the things I did while I was away.
#7. I experienced the joy of a sulphur pool.
From the Alberta Travel website, this description of the Cave and Basin provides explanation for why Fracas would do such a thing.
- “This inconspicuos hole in the ceiling of this cave has an interesting story to tell. The hole will tell us how three prospectors, employees of the Canadian Pacific Railway, followed a stream to a the basin pool. They then stumbled upon the mysterious hole and gazed, then climbed down into the hotspring waters below on a tree trunk they maneuvered into place. They wondered at the stalactites hanging from the ceiling and were the first hotspring enthusiasts in western Canada! They never did grow rich from their discovery (although they tried) it was this place that became Canada’s first national park.”
There are lovely pictures at the website, and the pictures above did come from there. Click the link to the Alberta Travel site to see them larger. I took my own similar picture of the inside of the cave (which had the distinct and lovely aroma of a thousand egg salad sandwiches) but rather than post mine 
(when theirs was available) I chose to post the fracas photo of the entrance to the cave, since that’s a shot they don’t have on their site. The cave is a small area, but when hiking the area outside, one is lucky enough to come across the exit hole of the cave which is pictured in the photo from the inside. It’s really quite an interesting place with signage along the trails explaining how the “elite” used to come to the sulphur pools to rejuvenate themselves, bathing in the sulphur water, and drinking it as a medicinal aid. Here is the photo of the hole from the outside of the cave. There were two 
vents, the larger being covered with a grate and therefore not making such a lovely photo. I’ve shown the smaller hole, but click the images and you’ll be able to see the larger versions which will hopefully, do them justice.
And it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t share with all of you, the insightful comments of a fellow tourist as we both came upon the exit whole while hiking the trails outside the cave.
Fracas: You might want to cover your nose, the smell is still quite noticeable out here.
Woman tourist: Oh that’s alright, I actually like the smell. It’s good for you.
Fracas: Okay then…
Filed under: Amusement, Celebrities, Dance, Entertainment, Humor, Media, SYTYCD, Sex, So You Think You Can Dance, Television, Weird Shit, Who Cares, YouTube
I know the third season of So You Think You Can Dance is over. They’re showing the auditions over, because you know… SYTYCD fans can’t go without the option to watch it even between seasons. I managed to miss most of this season because, well… I had to wash my hair.
Ok, no. Really, I did enjoy the second season. I just for one reason or another, wasn’t able to see much of this one. I’m trying to make up for that, watching the re-runs to catch up and know whether or not Sabra really deserved to win or not. Only there’s this big ole stumbling block in my way.
Sex.
No you heathen… I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about Sex the person. You know… David Kenneth “Sex” Soller. He auditioned again and this time, said he was the best. He said he had better moves and more enthusiasm.
I just want him to stop calling himself Sex. Honestly, there are enough people in the world who think sex is bad and wrong without the added complication of people everywhere associating sex with Soller. Or his mother.
David auditioned in season two, and this is what the folks over at Reality News Online had to say about it.
- “Dave Soller – where to begin? Dave looks like a long-haired nebbish, but does not see himself that way at all. In fact, he wants to be known as… ahem… Sex. You heard me. Sex, because he embodies it. He personifies it. He reeks it. Sex came to audition with his mom, who looks like a female version of Sex. Mom agrees that Sex is sexy, which is quite creepy. Time for the audition. Nigel asks if he’s ready. Sex favors Nigel with an over the shoulder come-hither. Oh my sweet lord. As an Usher track booms from the stereo, we see that Sex is a well-studied dancer. Meaning, he’s seen a lot of dancing. He just doesn’t do the moves very well. Sex gleefully runs through every cliché dance move short of the Cabbage Patch. Each judge gives up stifling their laughter throughout. He ends with a dazzling split jump that takes him, what, easily two-three inches off the ground! So dazzling, Nigel asks to see it again. Sex complies. And again. And again. Can’t break that three inch mark. But who cares, he’s Sex, right?Mia notes that he looks like some strange cross between Tiny Tim and Pee Wee Herman (she is absolutely correct). Sex glares at her. He is not pleased. Dan says Sex looked like he was on a mission. Dan’s not sure what it was, but Sex looked like he meant it. Nigel says Sex is certainly unique, and he’s not sure Sex should be “let outside alone.” Wrong for his program. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sex says he did his best, he knows he can dance, and thanks them for their…. Feedback (full of venom, that word). No Sex in Vegas. “
Perhaps imagining he could be an Ian Benardo, and somehow eke out a bit of fame for his delusions, Soller auditions again in season three. This, I was subjected to the other night and I ask my good fellow fraccers this.
Why didn’t you warn me?
Following this audition, judge Nigel Lythgoe asks judge Mary Murphy if sex has gotten any better for her this year. I know for me, Sex hasn’t gotten any better this year. In fact, Sex is making me a little sick already. The only thing that makes me sicker than Sex, is Mrs. Sex (as Nigel called her). Given Mrs. Sex is Sex’s mother, hearing her referred to as Mrs. Sex and not Mother Sex or something less creepy, kind of made me throw up in my mouth a bit.
Frac. Throwing up at the thought of Sex is just going to mess with my mind a bit. I’m really angry about that.
Here’s a recap on the season three audition, from Yahoo Canada TV.
- “A very special treat! I guess? David Kenneth “Sex” Soller is back! He’s either faking it or severely deluded. I haven’t decided yet. His new motto is “I’m the best.” Catchy! Should I not make fun of him? Is this like when American Idol makes fun of borderline-retarded people and we all hate ourselves? No, I just hate this guy, with his grey shirt and teal shorts, running shoes and what appear to be soccer gloves on. The ovation is loud and long for this guy. The judges, who are possibly high, indulge him longer than is strictly necessary, until they grow weary of it. Sex David says Nigel should have more respect for people who audition, and Nigel points out, correctly, that Sex David is the one who doesn’t have any respect for the auditioners and throws him off the stage. David yells, “Sex is back!” Then Nigel pointlessly argues with Sex’s crazy mom (whom Nigel calls “Mrs. Sex”), and she looks exactly like David, which is depressingly not very surprising. He tells the pair of them not to come back next year. Try not putting them on again this year! Oh, too late.”
I realize some of you might not have ever seen the shows that featured Sex, and so I thought I’d find a good Sex video for you. Alas, the first one that used to be available and is linked to from many a site online, now indicated that it is no longer available.
See..
Sadly, I’ve not yet been able to locate a good Sex tape from the second audition (third season) either. In fact, all I could locate to date, was the following Sex Video at Youtube.
Please look in the upper center of the crowd, to find Sex. He’s there in all his Sex glory. Long hair, white t-shirt and red shorts, wicked dance moves and all. Just pay attention. After all, when watching a Sex tape, shouldn’t a person pay close attention anyway?
See… I told you Sex tapes were hard to come by. (And yes.. I’m sorry about the puns.) Seriously. Click here and a new window will open up so you can watch the video at Youtube.
I promise you though, as God as my witness… if I locate another Sex tape, I will let no moment go wasted before I provide it for my dear fraccers.
But if you too, should throw up a little in your mouth during Sex, just remember this. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. There are all kinds of people in the world, and some of them actually find that a bit, well… sexy.
Who knows. Maybe David Kenneth Soller is one of them?
(photo credit: Starometer)
