Filed under: General | Tags: 'woody' growth, Asparagus Soup, fracas features, Fracas Friday Food Porn, frugal living, funny photo of a penis-like tree, giant wood, hilarious nature photos, Humor, Humour, Jokes, nature fracas, Nature Porn, naughty looking tree, naughty nature, tree that looks like a giant penis, tree that looks like male genitals, using woody ends of asparagus to make soup, wasting less
So I admit I, fracas, have been remiss in posting Friday Food Porn.
It’s not my fault.
Okay, maybe it is, but I can explain.
I’ve had things going on the past while that have kept me terribly busy, and then I realized the fraccy yard was horribly neglected… and then there was that delivery of hundreds of stones to start the transformation of the back yard into something reminiscent of some of the lovely forests and gardens where one might find some of those hundred year old giant redwoods (or the like).
In the course of all these events and all this yard work, I made a startling discovery. Indeed, right here in the fraccy yard*, I discovered some giant wood of my own and knew the only thing to do was to share it with all of you.
Now, it isn’t exactly food (unless you’re some kind of weevil), but nevertheless, I knew some of you out there, would appreciate it anyway.
Choosing a recipe to post with it though, was a little more challenging. I decided to share a recipe for using the woody ends of asparagus… something that usually becomes waste. Cooking tipsters suggest saving the woody ends each time asparagus is used, by tossing them into a freezer bag until enough have accumulated to use in a recipe.
All in all, today we’ve learned that wood can be good.
‘Woody’ Asparagus Soup
1 lb. asparagus woody ends
2 c chicken stock
1/2 sm. onion; peeled and quartered
1/2 lb asparagus spears without woody ends; cut into 1″ pieces
1 md. leek, white part only; chopped
1 Tbsp. butter
1/4 lemon; juiced
1 Tbsp. minced summer savory (optional)
1/2 cup cultured buttermilk
1/4 tsp. ground white pepper
Salt to taste
Put woody ends and onion quarters in a soup pot with chicken stock and bring to a vigorous simmer. Cook for one hour. Discard solids. Melt butter over medium heat, add leeks, and sauté until translucent. Return soup base to stove over medium heat, add leeks, and bring to simmer. Add remaining asparagus and cook until just done; about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add savory, pepper, and salt. Allow to cool. Puree soup in a blender, food processor or with an immersion blender. Add buttermilk, taste, and adjust seasonings. Refrigerate for about four hours before serving.
Variation: Use heavy cream instead of buttermilk, leave out the savory and white pepper, and add a teaspoon of curry powder.
Since this edition was about some growth that’s a bit too ‘woody’ to cook up in your kitchen, do check out the leftovers in the Fracas Friday Food Porn Pantry if you’re looking for something a little easier to chew.
And please… if you’ve ever enjoyed yourself here, do help support the fracas blog by choosing one of the following:
- Vote for this (and/or any other post) at humor-blogs.
- Go click on the text ads over at fraccers.
- Leave a donation to help keep the fraccy boobs in business.
- Stumble your favorite fraccy post at stumbleupon.
- Digg your favorite fraccy post.
- Submit your favorite fraccy post at yahoo.
- Add http://fracas.wordpress.com and/or http://fraccers.com to your blogroll.
Merci!
Recipe Source
[* So it wasn't taken right in the fraccy yard... so what? It's called creative license... just enjoy it.]
Filed under: General | Tags: canadian jokes, Flotsam, fracas funnies, Humor, Humour, husband shopping, Jokes, jokes about canadians, language jokes, laughter is the best medicine, russian lady in a grocery store joke, take your husband shopping
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
Ahem!
Her husband spoke English.
What were you thinking?
(But seriously… as for the butcher…
… it’s been reported that he loves his job!)
Filed under: General | Tags: be a parent not a friend, craigslist hotbed for teen sex, ctv news article about teens selling sex, Family, is your teen at risk, is your teen selling sex online, know what your kids are doing online, Life, outrageous teen behaviour, parenting is tough.. so what, parenting teens today, parents here's your wakeup call, teen sex for money, teens at risk online, teens selling sex online, wakeup call for parents, where are the parents, why kids don't need cellphones
I’ve long been one of those parents who would prefer that my kids ‘hate’ me and call me all kinds of stuff under their breath and behind my back, than turn a blind eye to the goings on of the teenage world because I desired to be ‘liked’… their ‘friend’ or didn’t have the balls to do my job as a parent. As parents, you can’t always be liked and be doing a good job at the same time; fracas has always told the fraccy children that it’s not my job to be their friend… that I have the patience to wait until their own maturity kicks in and they realize they were luckier than their friends to have a parent who was willing to be a parent and not a friend.
Having now two (of three) children who are considered adults, I can attest that the road there is sometimes long and you do wonder if that day you speak of will ever arrive… but it does.
I came across this article today. I hope parents out there are listening.
Parenting isn’t about being liked. It isn’t about being your kids’ friend. It’s about raising children up through the quagmire of the society our own generation shares responsibility for having shaped. It’s about understanding that they aren’t always just little adults but children who, if engaging in adult activities because there isn’t anyone in their lives to say no… will suffer greatly.
Please do leave your thoughts here, or check out the original article to leave your opinion there.
Girls under the age of 18 are selling sex on Craigslist, according to police in North Vancouver, and are likely forced into it after falling under the influence of a sex-trafficking ring.
North Vancouver RCMP are reporting a spike in underage sex trade workers on the North Shore, some as young as 13, who claim to be 18 or older in their online ads.
Benjamin Perrin, a University of British Columbia professor who is an expert on human trafficking for the sex trade, said police have identified a dozen victims so far in North Vancouver alone.
“Police believe there are many more victims, many of them are under the control of what we’re being told is a sex- and drug-trafficking ring,” Perrin said Tuesday on CTV’s Canada AM.
According to North Vancouver RCMP Const. Shannon Kitchen, some girls, but not all, are working alone and not under the control of a pimp.
“In some cases we’ve been told about initially a relationship that’s been considered maybe a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. And then that relationship’s turned into, ‘now you’re working for me, you owe me money,’” Kitchen told CTV Vancouver.
Many of the ads are explicit, Perrin said, and put the girls in a vulnerable position as they promise unprotected sex.
“These young girls are being exposed to very serious health risks,” Perrin said.
He also points out that while some of the girls come from troubled homes and communities, which makes them particularly vulnerable to sex traffickers, others hail from stable families and well-off neighbourhoods.
“So parents really need to look out for warning signs too, like new friendships with people who are not just male but also possibly female, giving large gifts, (having) a new cellphone that’s always being answered at any time of the day,” Perrin said.
He also said that the problem is not relegated to young girls in North Vancouver. Teenagers across Canada are using online tools to sell sex, he said.
Perrin said young women are often recruited through social networking websites such as Facebook, which offer ample opportunities for sex traffickers to prey on vulnerable girls.
“We know that sex traffickers have used Facebook as well as a tactic to identify vulnerable individuals and once they’re part of a school network, Facebook does the work for them,” he said.
Perrin said he has also met with officials from both the RCMP and Craigslist to express concern about how easy it is for underage girls to pose as adults.
Craigslist has shut down its erotic services section in the U.S. and now has an adult section that requires users to identify themselves. This is not available yet on the Canadian site.
“We’re really hoping Craigslist will step up,” Perrin said.
Fracas is hoping parents out there will too.
Filed under: General | Tags: dealing with google, don't mess with the fraccy 'family', fracas is making a movie, google fears fracas, google fears me, google problems, Google Streets, google woes, googlefather, hollywood wants fracas, how to deal with google, Humor, Humour, Internet, pranking the google car, teaching google a lesson
It’s been a rather busy while for fracas and the fraccy family this past while. There was the end of the school year for the wee fraccy one, the graduating of the middle fraccy one (along with a milestone birthday to boot…), the ongoing rat-race for the older fraccy one (No, I didn’t mean Mr. Fracas, I meant the oldest fraccy child who is not really a child any longer…) and of course, the little hamster wheel of life Mr. Fracas and I seem to be on.
It was while I was trying to catch up the yardwork the other day, that I realized something rather important, and I knew I would have to come blog it for you.
While admiring and appreciating the wonders of the fraccy yard full of trees, flowering (and some fruit-bearing) shrubs, perennials and grasses weaving through the sitting and fire-burning areas we’ve created over the years, my thoughts jumped back to the day that dastardly google car sped through our neighbourhood.
Indeed. It sped so fast I didn’t get a chance to hurl last year’s leftover (and rotten) tomatoes at it. Instead, I was, as I told you all earlier, standing (while talking on the phone) in front of the picture window with the blinds fully raised, without a stitch of makeup, sporting bedhead hair, wearing the most awful old sweats with a baggy t-shirt… under which I was wearing…
…no bra!
The google car driver chose that particular moment to photograph my street… and thus, my home with me in the window.
I’m sure he knew I was standing right there in such a compromising position.
I’m sure he did it on purpose!
Oh sure, they say they blur out faces and identifying features, but I have since, stalked casually looked up several people and discovered that in fact, many folks out there have been caught with their proverbial pants down by that fraccing car.
This would be enough to send most women shopping for weaponry, but for me, it isn’t the no makeup or bedhead hair that upsets me. No indeed. I took my driver’s license photo that way, so why would that bother me? For me… the queen of the fraccy yard… it was because google had the audacity to photograph Saskatchewan in the spring.
The BROWN spring.
The time when all the Fracskatchewan yards are still littered with the detritus that tends to line our yards following the completion of the melting of the snow… which sometimes doesn’t happen here until, oh, say… August.
So while I was admiring how lovely the yard was coming along following one of the harshest winters we’ve had in a while, I decided I would have to go to Google Maps and see whether or not those awful and dreary brown photos of the fraccy home were online.
They were not.
Nay. When one googles for the fraccy neighbourhood, one learns that there is no street view available.
Hallelujah! There was much rejoicing in the fraccy basement. I might even go so far as to say I danced on a table or two. I might also go so far as to say there was some unladylike-type behaviour.
I’d wondered if the power of my earlier post might’ve put the fear of fracas into those fops over at the google HQ, but this sealed it for me. Knowing that fear of the fraccy wrath had prevented Google from publishing all those photos of our very brown and nasty Saskatchewan spring yards is definitely proof that Google is afraid of fracas.
And rightly so.
Hollywood is already interested in my story. I’m planning on beginning work on the screenplay for this shortly… just as soon as the cutting back of the ‘perennials’ is done.
Perhaps you’d like to offer a suggestion on the title? So far all I’ve come up with is…
Googlefather.
